The other day I was talking to a teenager, that I know very well and know is an Athiest, about my Christian beliefs and he told me that I was “lost in the sauce”. I had never heard this term before but I guess it is this generations version of “drinking the kool aid” (if you don’t know this phrase just google the origins of it). I found it funny but the more I thought about it the more I realized that I was like him when I was younger until I found out first hand God was real. It changed my life and brought me to where I am today.
The more I thought about being “lost in the sauce” the more I realized that experience is everything. Experiences shape who we are and who we become. Without those experiences we tend to think a different way. But sometimes hearing about someone else’s experience can make us think a different way as well so after praying about it I feel led to share my experience with Gods wonder working power that changed my life forever.
First let me say that I am not ashamed of the story I am about to tell nor am I embarrassed by it. It made me who I am and showed me God’s Grace and power. As with everything …it happened for a reason.
I was raised in church in the days when kids went to “big church” with their parents. I listened and paid attention and would ask my mom and grand parents questions about things that the preacher said. My grandmother always said I was going to grow up and be a preacher. She saw something in me that I didn’t see in myself until much later in life.
I was saved at a young age but as I grew older I wandered away from God’s teachings and didn’t give Him much thought. I was more worried about fun and what ever felt good. By the age of 16 I was like a typical worldly teenager thinking more of myself that anyone else and it caused me to be kicked out of the house because my mother just couldn’t handle me anymore.
In my 16 year old mind I thought I had arrived. No more being told what to do, when to be home, or any of that kid stuff. I set out and by the end of the day I had found a room for rent in a nice neighborhood (I did have a job and thankfully had just gotten paid). Little did I know that this was the beginning of a downward spiral that lead me to near death and an intervention from God.
The house I rented a room in also had two other rooms that were rented out to a guy in his late 20s and another guy in his early thirties. It was a nice house in a nice neighborhood and had an in ground pool out back. Everybody there was super friendly and we would hang out at the pool as much as possible.
One day when we were sitting by the pool one of the guys lit up a joint and began passing it around. I had never done any type of drugs up to this point but I wasn’t about to be a “square” so when it came around to me I took it and smoked it like I knew what I was doing. That was where it all started.
Soon we were smoking every day and it became routine. As soon as I got out of school we would get together and smoke by the pool. (Yes I still went to school) One day one of the guys said “Hey we are both off work today. Why don’t you just skip school and let’s spend the day drinking and getting stoned”. I didn’t even have to think about it.
That’s where the truly bad choices started. Soon I had dropped out of school even though I was in my junior year. All I wanted to do was work a few hours a day to get money and spend the rest of the day having a good time. Yep this was the life for me. Not a care in the world.
Soon me and the other two guys moved into our own apartment and were partying all the time smoking weed and drinking and doing whatever we wanted. It was during this time that one of the guys came home from work and said “I’ve got something you need to try”. He pulled out a baggy of white powder and poured it on the table and used a credit card to put it in three little lines. I didn’t even have to ask what it was. I watched Miami Vice. I knew this was cocaine.
He went and grabbed some straws and handed us each one and they began snorting a line. The one guy looked at me and asked if I had ever done cocaine before and I admitted that I hadn’t. “Well if you like how the weed makes you feel then you will love this!” I laughed and bent down and snorted my line. That was it. I was hooked.
From that day forward I would do what ever I had to do to buy the cocaine including stealing from my job. Nothing else mattered and in no time I had a $250 a week habit which was a lot in the 1980s. It didn’t stop with cocaine though. I tried meth, crack, acid, and whatever I could get my hands on. The cocaine was always my favorite though.
Time passed and before long the three of us went our separate ways but I had no worries. This was the 80s and cocaine was as readily available as alcohol and easier for a 16 year old to get. Every party you went to had cocaine and whatever drug you wanted so I was set.
It was one of these parties that ended up having me turn to God in a most unexpected way. I had done a lot of cocaine over the past few months and never had an issue until I went to this particular party. The guy throwing the party literally had a punch bowl completely full of cocaine (just like in Miami Vice). I took some out and snorted two lines just like I was used to doing but this time it would be different. I didn’t realize that the guy throwing the party was actually friends with a Colombian trafficker and this was way more pure than I was used to.
In a short amount of time I began feeling bad and so I headed home which was only a few short blocks away. By the time I got home my heart felt like it was trying to burst out of my chest. I laid down but the pain was horrible and was only getting worse. I was overdosing.
I couldn’t go to the hospital because I would end up in jail. It had been about 30 minutes and the pain just kept getting worse. I knew I was going to die and it was at that point that I closed my eyes and said “God please make this go away and I promise I will never touch this stuff again”.
At that very moment, not 30 seconds or a minute later, but the very moment the last word left my mouth my heart went back to normal and all the pain went away. It was truly a miracle and nothing else could explain it.
I straightened my life out right then and there. I went back to school and actually graduated on time. I made church a part of my life again and after 36 years I still have never touched drugs again.
So when I’m asked how I know God exists this is how. Because He directly interacted in my life. He did the impossible and looked out for me when I wasn’t looking out for myself. He had plans for me and that was actually part of it. I had to live that so that I could help others and have been able to use my experience to help others going through the same thing and help them turn their lives to Christ. God showed me His Grace even though I had wandered away and didn’t deserve it.
That’s the thing about God. He loves us so much and it is unconditional. Even though we don’t deserve His Grace He offers it to us anyway. His love for us is so intense that He actually became human and paid the price for our sin because He knew we never could.
No matter what you have done in your life. No matter how bad or despicable. God still loves you and will forgive you. All you have to do is accept that sacrifice. Accept Jesus into your life and acknowledge that He died for your sins. If you ask sincerely God would never deny you or say no. After all…you are His child and he loves you with a Father’s love.
So yes I am “lost in the sauce” because I have been saved by the Blood!